Scrap these words from your vocabulary.
If someone is offering you money, to cook you dinner, gift you, do something for you for free, accept graciously and DO NOT SAY THESE THREE WORDS
Perhaps you’ve been raised to be ‘polite’ and say these three words whenever someone offers you a second helping of cake, a sneaky freebie at an event, offers to waive a fine or entry fee just cuz they’re in a good mood.
Don’t say those words!
If your bank offers to lower your interest rate, randomly, don’t say these three words. If you get asked to participate in activity you don’t think you’re ‘qualified’ enough or ‘good’ enough to do, don’t say these three words.
Because these three words are the tip of the iceberg of what you really mean, or what’s really underneath them.
- ‘Are you sure’ you want to give this to me, wouldn’t you rather give it to someone else who deserves it more?
- ‘Are you sure’ you trust me with this?
- ‘Are you sure’ I can handle this?
- ‘Are you sure’ this isn’t putting you out, because I’m not worth having the fuss?
- ‘Are you sure’ it’s okay that I can receive something so easily, since I’m used to paying my dues and having to struggle to be treated well?
‘Are you sure?’ isn’t a question you’re asking the other person. It’s you voicing your own self-doubt. The more you say it, the less graciously you accept kindness from others and/or opportunities that can enhance your life.
It doesn’t matter whether they’re sure or you’re sure. If an offer is on the table, you can either gladly take it or gladly reject it. ‘Are you sure’ muddies what was originally a clear intention.
If you find yourself saying these three words to others, or even to yourself when an offer or gift comes along, take a moment! Recalibrate. If they weren’t sure, they wouldn’t have offered. Say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, but never ‘are you sure?’
If you find that you say these three words pretty much everytime someone offers you something, spend a quick minute checking to see what’s under the doubt – what’s under the iceberg. Do you not like to ‘put people out’? Do you feel not ‘good enough’? Do you have a general disbelief that people want to be nice to you just because, without a hidden agenda?
Have an amazing week,